I have a confession to make. I’m a closet blogger. Is that an actual term? Probably not.

I’ve told very people I know in real life that I blog. I’m sure they could find this blog if they wanted to. After all, I have quite a few of my social media profiles linked to the site, and every so often, I see that people are getting to my blog by directly searching my name or something. {I’d hope the only people searching my full name are people who know me.} My blog’s public, it should be expected that people are going to find it. I want people to find it otherwise I wouldn’t be posting to a blog.

The thing is, whenever someone I know tells me they’ve found my blog, I’m immediately horrified. It’s like they’ve somehow stumbled into my diary of secrets – my secret life of sorts. It’s not like anything I post on here is horribly embarrassing though, so I started wondering why it bothers me so much.

I own the fact that I’m awkard and weird. Anyone close enough to me knows I’m slightly obsessive over certain things or that I enjoy technology and planners. I spend an inordinate amount of time finding really geeky ways of doing things to make my life easier. I’m super focused on my career, and my pets mean the world to me. If people I know already know this, why do I care if people I know read what I post on here?

I think my fear is that maybe my friends have never really grasped how weird I actually am. Now I say weird lightly. I believe everyone’s weird in their own ways and that’s perfectly okay, but I worry that they’ll see this blog and think, “Wow, she has an unhealthy obsession with Filofaxes!” or “She’s thought way to much about this particular program”.

It’s not just weirdness though. Part of me is waiting for that one day when my blog is really successful and I can say something like, “ What? You haven’t seen my blog yet?!” I love reading super put together blogs, but those people have been blogging for a long time, and they do it for a living. Blogging isn’t my main main job and this blog is fairly new, so the reality of having some crazy popular blog isn’t probably coming anytime soon.

Let’s face it though. This is me. This is my blog. Maybe I should start embracing it more.